Tell others you are proud of them

Our four year-old son Tyler picked up a new phrase recently. We are guessing it came from his remarkable pre-school teacher, Miss Brianna. I was tucking him into bed and he reached his arm up over my shoulder and cupped his hand around the back of my neck. He pulled me in close and looked deeply into my eyes. That's when he said the words, "I am very proud of you." That made me feel pretty good. It also got me thinking: do I say those words often enough?

Telling others we are proud of them is a way to bless and encourage them. We may associate this with the pride condemned in God's Word but the concepts are not the same. Sinful pride is boasting in self. It is arrogance. It is thinking of yourself more highly than you ought. It is the opposite of humility. God hates this pride. In contrast, being proud of someone is simply delighting, finding satisfaction or finding joy in someone or in something they do (to loosely paraphrase Webster). We can be proud of others in a very God-honoring and healthy way.

To do this we need to be proud of others for the right reasons. Our satisfaction and joy should be based on biblical values and not society's values. We can be proud of others when they side with the outcast, when they are wronged and do not retaliate, when they are humble about successes, when they are gracious in defeat, when they persevere in difficulty, when they forgive others, and when they are faithful in small things. This is just an introductory list. The principle is that we are proud when their accomplishments, behaviors, character, or actions match the things commended in God's Word. This can have a powerful impact on us and on them. It reinforces both rationally and emotionally the truth of God's Word. Going beyond mere agreement with a biblical principle to being joyful and elated to see that principle lived out - this is what happens when we are proud of someone for biblical reasons. Verbally expressing this and sharing it with others only adds to the experience. We are modeling a love for others and a love for God's Word.

So, let's tell others we are proud of them and see what happens. Those of us with spouses and kids should start there. My guess is they will be blessed like I am every time my son tells me "I am very proud of you." We might be the means God uses to remind others of His grace and love at just the right time. In the process, we will be affirming and reinforcing things that are commendable.